GG4 Week 4 – Familiy is always embarassing

A common area. A fireplace, a cupboard for crockery. Serve yourself kegs of beer, clean your own glasses when you are done. Card tables. Perhaps a barracks mess. One or two groups of three or four. A half-orc having a quiet pint. A dwarf walks in. Older. He pulls a beer and joins the half-orc.

“Wotcher Biggles.”
“Wotcher, Korgul.”

There is a silence. But not a companionable silence. More a waiting for the other shoe to drop silence. A 500-lb gorilla in the room silence. The dwarf, Biggles, speaks first.

“Nice hat”.
“Aww fer fuck’s sake! It’s magic, awlright? It’s a magic fuckin ‘at. I wouldn’t be wearing it if it wosn’t magic.”
“Yeah, well I could tell that from the shards in the band. What’s it do, exactly?”
“I find”, replies Korgul heavily, “that when I wears it I gets a little more respeck.”

Dwarvish laughter, like a small avalanche of boulders tumbling into a mountain stream. “It looks like a pimp hat! Doesn’t it interfere with the sneaking around?”
“It is a bloody pimp hat. But colours don’t matter that much in the dark, so purple and orange is ok. The fur is a natural camouflage pattern anyway, so all it all it comes out the same. But, do you reckon you could …”
“Oh, no Korgul – I’m afraid not. The shape and the colour is part of its magic, you see. Couldn’t possibly touch it. Anyway – do I look like a milliner?”

“Fucker”, replies Korgul. More dwarvish laughter. “So tell me the story”. Korgul shoots him a look. “Who’s asking? You, or Rob?” “A bit of both,” says Biggles matter-of-factly.

“Ok. Well, it’s like this:”

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John as Baedryn – Dwarf Warlord.
Jamie as silent dude – Swordmage.
Amanda as Mandor – Human Bard.
Paul as Korgul – Half-orc Rogue.

So that girl wot came around asking for me was Jane, me sister. I been avoiding home. Dunno how she found out I was here. Oh yeah – me fizzog wos in the papers from the university job.

So this Preston bloke ‘ad taken over the business, and put in a manager ‘oo wos ‘itting the girls. They is family, Biggles – Jane ‘ad a black eye off the fucker. It’s good Rob decided to send some of us over as part of ‘is little war wiv Preston: I would ‘ave gone alone, which might not ‘ave worked out well.

So we ‘ad a bit of a chat on the way. No point trying to avoid the guards on the door. We were just going to bull our way in and then ‘ave a chat wiv this Snivler prick.

No worries. Straight froo the door. A regular day inside, a couple of customers.

Hi, my name is Jacqueline. I do massage, oral and sex, fantasies are extra and I don’t do anal. Did you have any questions?

Baedryn goes to the bar and starts asking about the girls, like ‘ee was a customer. Me – straight up the stairs, wotsisface right behind me (don’t even know ‘is name. I fink ‘es takin the ‘ole secretive fing too far. ‘E orta ‘ave at leas a fake name so we can call ‘im summik when we wants ‘im), and opens the doors. An there’s the little bastard right there with a couple of blokes ‘oo frankly didn’t impress me a lot.

Well, I don’t waste time chattin wiv im. I grabs ‘im and drags ‘im to the top of the stairs but ‘e slips out before I can chuck ‘im down. ‘E ‘ad some sort ‘o magic pimp rod – tried that thing on me that ‘e does on the girls. That’s where I got the black eye.’E ‘ad a fair bit ‘o magic. But me an Baedryn deals wiv ‘im wiv a bit ‘o help from Mandor. I finally gets ‘im while Mandor ‘as im distracted. Wotsisface finishes off the goons upstairs, then we do the bouncers and the other goons downstairs. I fink one of ’em I just scared ’em off at the end. No need to kill ‘I’m – it ain’t going her keep any fink a secret. Fact is, if Preston is behind all this then this ain’t going to be the end of it.

I get the goblin’s cane, wot is magic, and this ‘at. I’d like to keep the ‘at, but the rod’s no use to me. Probably Mandor can use it – not sure.

After a minnit or two, free of the town guard come in the door. Mandor tells ’em that these were customers what wos getting rowdy an drew steel, but the guards is being paid by Preston, which is an important tidbit of information and one you should definitely tell Rob about.

Now, we ‘ad masks an shit, but I’ll tell yer I just didn’t fink to put mine on and I don’t fink anyone else did ether. After all – the girls new ‘oo I was, and it’s not like it was going to be a big mystery to Preston either. But fact is I just forgot abaht it.

Wotsisname runs outside and deals wiv some of the recruits, but us uvver free starts to beat up the guards. They is swingin to kill, but we figures we is in enough trouble wiv the orforities, so we is a bit more careful.

Jamie’s character ran off because he would not attack town guards – he was just going to go back to the shop. But Korgul does not know this.
Brendan ruled that nonlethal attacks meant that our damage die went down one category. I’m sure there must be more specific rules.

But we is still better than them. Oneovvem gets beaten up pretty bad and I lets ‘im run off. The uvver two lasts a bit longer, but when they is pretty much on their last legs I fretens ’em and they runs off too. They will ‘ave trouble explaining themselves, cause they ‘ave mostly bruises, not cuts onnem. Wouldn’t want to be in their shoes.

The intimidate thing is coming together nicely. I think it needs to make sense in-game, but in this scenario it did.

There’s a bit of a crowd outside. Mandor tries to explain fings, but no-one belives ‘er, so I just tellem the brofel is shut for the evening and closes the door. Me an Baedryn stay to guard the place and the rest you know. I tells me other sister to take a message, but I get no respect from ‘er. So we pays one of the other girls to do it.

A little bit of hilarity at the table. I was rolling 16s and 15s on the intimidate checks to run off the armoured dudes with swords, but when Korgul brandished the goblin’s pimp rod at his sister, rolled a 1. Ain’t it just the way?

I dunno what Rob wants to do wiv the place. It’s big, it’s in a good location. If ‘e wants to make a legit business out of it, though, I say ‘es got no hope as long as ‘e lets my mum and sisters stay there. They been working the sheets a long time. Just saying.

The pimp hat grants +2 to intimidate and a reroll on a bluff check (probably once a day). This gives Korgul a +16 on intimidate, which is pretty damn good. The pimp cane is a 5th-level rod implement. If a bard can use it, then Amanda’s character should have it. There was also some gold – perhaps I should not take a share of that if I am taking an item? I’ll discuss it on the mailing list.

Whores, man. They are all whores.

Just a quick one.

At the Durham, outside area. Having a beer. Chick approaches me – not terribly bad looking. Dressed up for the night out. Hello, are you having a nice time. 30 seconds of pleasant banter.

Oh, and do you have a cigarette?

Meanwhile, over at the nudie bar in Mitchell the dancers will come over and chat to you. After slightly longer than 30 sec, they’ll ask you to get them a vodka & soda, or G&T, or some other clear drink. Unknown to you, the drink comes from the special bottle and is just water. You pay 10, the girl gets 5. That’s what you pay in a nudie bar for a few minutes chat with a mostly naked young lady.

Same thing.

Same thing.

They wants payin’, and that’s all there is to it.

Whores, man. They are all whores.

GG4 Week 3 – Chimera pays me back

“Uncle Korgul! Uncle Korgul! A story!”
“Well, don’t the time just fly, eh? Wots it to be this week, then? You want to hear about when we turned over the castle?”
“Chimera – tell us about when he paid you back.”
“Chimera. Well, ok kids”

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Paul as Korgul – Half-orc Rogue
Winky as Proxy – Shardmind Psion
Nick as Kuraz – Goliath Weapons Master
Drewf as Chimera – Elf Seeker/Warlock
Resse as Mirokoth – Human Cleric

Troof is, it ain’t all that much of a story.

The recovery service lay low for abaht four weeks after we set fire to the university library. Chimera took the fall for that, which was nice of ‘im. Then once again there was two jobs going. There was one where some farmer ‘ad lost a pig, or summik. And there was another where some bad people ‘ad this thing wot the churches wanted us to recover so they could get rid of it.

Well, I wasn’t really up for any farming, ‘an this uvver job sounded more exciting ’cause I’d just been doing some quite odd jobs. So I joined Rob – the boss – on the artifact ‘an evil cultist job.

During downtime, Korgul had been “holding the bag” for any small job going. He’s keen to impove his skills. Brendan/Andrew awarded me 50 gp, which I wisely spent on a Cure Light potion. It was to come in handy.

On the night, we played out choosing which job we would go on. As Korgul, I asked “Is it likely to get violent?” about the second job, and at a reply of “well … yes” skipped over to join Brendan’s table, to general mirth. Out of character, I just wanted to roll some dice – Andrews game was going to be a bit more talky.

So anyway. The boss and five of uss went over to this ‘ouse wher they was on ‘olidays or summik, and the cultists were in there somewhere. They ‘ad guards at the front gate, nothing serious, but we decided it’d be simpler just ter nip over the wall. So we did, and in the back door as quick as yer can say it.

We wos looking for a particular wall in the ‘ouse which was a bit wider than it ort to be. We found it, an followed it upstairs to a room which – I forget, I fink it was a library or a trophy room or summik. There was a magic sword on a bracket on the wall and it looked a bit unhappy where it wos so one of us decided to ‘elp it out a little and grabbed it.

Anyway. There was a hidden stairway there behind a swiveling bookcase.

(It’s a bit of a cliche, kids, but a swivelling wall wiv good balance is a good secret door – it’s quiet, reliable, you can make it big enuf for anything you might want to put through it, and its easy to make a good one if yer puts in a little effort. Use agate for the bearing – it’s fairly cheap if yer not looking for gem quality, it polishes nice, and it comes in lumps big enuf ter be useful, ‘cos yer need a lump wot doesn’t ‘ave cracks init. Don’t use a bookcase to ‘ide the panel: everyone does that an it’s the first place everyone looks. And make dead sure it doesn’t scuff the floor when it turns – ‘alf circles in the floor next to a wall is a dead giveaway. So is a clear spot where all the rest of the wall ‘as junk stacked against it, which is anuvver reason why a library is a bad idea. Alcove in a ‘all wot ‘as a corner to ‘ide behind is the best place.)

Where wos I? Oh yeah – so behind the swiveling bookcase was a stairway leading dahn to the basement. So we went dahn the stairs.

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We all ‘erd the chanting straight away, so as so as we gets near enough, I charges in. Which wos very, very, very stupid. After I charges in, a couple of the cult people blocks off the passage in and I’m in there on my own, facing this preist wiv all magic an stuff, as well as some archers.

Well, I stabs im, don’t I? I mean – I ‘ad to. And I stabs ‘im a bit more, but I gets hit by the archers an the priest does summik to be so I goes blind. I drinks me potion and goes looking for ‘im, but by the time I finds ‘im ‘as a bunch of arrows in ‘im and ‘es brown bread.

Haven’t played a striker before. According to the book, a striker rushes into combat and gets his rougey “first strike” bonus. Feh – not doing that again. I was down to 1 hp for a couple of rounds, which is a long time at the table.

So the boss grabs the thingummybob and we all ‘as a little rest. It was the first killing fight I ever been in, at the time. Seen a lot of bodies since then, kids, but they was the first. But all around the altar … actually, never mind kids – we’ll skip that bit.

Body parts / sacrifice remnants. Bendan was making it clear that these were Bad Guys. I think Korgul got lost telling his story, there. Ahh, reminiscence – thou seductress! But certain fings is not suitable bedtime stories for kids.

So. We finds anuvver door dahn there and opens it. It looks like this little room has anuvver entrance, eh? We decide to explore. Not sure why – we got wot we came for.

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Well, this passage opened out into a room, and just as we walked in these other geezers walk in the uvver side. Mean lookin – like us, I suppose. I fink our boss an’ their boss ‘ad words, then it wos on, an I was fighting free of ’em – or maybe four of em, all at once. There was arrows an swords and spells, an then the floor started to collapse an the two bosses drop into a ‘ole. But theyre still fighting dahn there. I get ‘urt an everyfing goes black, but as I’m drifting off Mirokoth (‘o is a priest on our side – no, not father Michael, ‘e joined us much later) says summik magic an I’m back in the fight. An all the time the ‘ole in the floor is getting bigger.

Well, we are winning, and the uvver boss runs off and Chimera chases ‘im, and the uvver boss frows a dager wot slows Chimera down a treat. And ‘e escapes. We all get away from the ‘ole in the floor, after doing a quick recover and repurpose op on the other geezers.

Naah, we fell to discussin the loot. It’s a fine balance, kids: you want wots yours, but at the same time if a mate of yours ‘as a weapon wot is going to win a fight, it’s a good idea for ‘im to ave it. If there’s a nice bit ‘o armour, it’s usually a better idea for the ‘ealer to ave it than for yer to take it for yerself, even if its yours by right.

The sword went to Kuraz, I fink. But the dagger wot Chimera pulled out of is side was summik else. It wosn’t just regular loot – it ‘ad the biggest dragonshard wot I ‘ad ever seen. I seen bigger ones since, but it wos still a very nice dagger an’ I wanted it, ‘specially since I wos the only one there wot fights wiv a knife. On the uvver hand, Chimera wos saying as ‘e fished it out of ‘is own side, it wos ‘is, and it wos kind of hard to argue the point. Naah, no-one wants fings to get ugly, but they could ‘ave done.

But then ‘e as a thort, and ‘e offers it to me an says “Sorted?”, and I knew ‘e wos talking about that book I got from the library for ‘im. Well, it wosn’t wot I was expecting: I fort ‘e’d do some big favour for me some day. But on the other ‘and it wos just a bit ‘o burglary an only took a sec, and he was making a very fair offer: more than fair, judging by the size of those dragonshards. An I didn’t particularly need any specific favours done at the time. So after a mo, I says “sorted” an takes the dagger. An it wos very nice, an very magic. I sold it eventually, an got an even more powerful one wiv bigger dragonshards, but the one Chimera gave me came in very, very ‘andy for a long time.

Wot I’m telling yer, kids, is that it doesn’t pay ter be unreasonable wiv yer mates. Remember I said that priest wot blinded me wos dead an full of arrows when I could see ‘im again? It wos Chimera wot ad shot ‘im. ‘E saved my life, kids, just a couple of minutes before. Troof is: when ‘e offered me that dagger for ‘is book, he didn’t really owe me anyfing.

So, that’s all there wos to it. The boss dropped the artifact fing off at the nearest temple of the twelve, an the rest of us went back to the shop.

The ‘ouse is still there, but they’ve re-done it a couple of times since then, and it don’t look nuffink like wot it looked when we were there. We’ll do summik else tomorrer, ok? Nah go ter sleep and leave yer old uncle to fink abaht fings. I’ll still be ‘ere in the mornin.

A level 6 dagger! Hmm – actually, there’s not a lot that’s really good at level 6. I’ll go with Dynamic Dagger +2. As a minor action, change the weapon into a different weapon from any melee category. Serendipitously – that explains why the boss threw it: he used its power to make it a nicely balanced throwing dagger.

I’m finding the d4 damage die disappointing, so I’m thinking of taking the “use a heavy blade instead of a dagger” feat. I’ll lose the +1 to-hit that a brutal scoundrel gets with a dagger. If I also lose the +3 proficiency bonus then it won’t be worth it. I’ll have to check. In any case, this weapon will transform into a +2 sap, which could come in handy 🙂 .