“Well, don’t the time just fly, eh? Wots it to be this week, then? You want to hear about when we turned over the castle?”
“Chimera – tell us about when he paid you back.”
“Chimera. Well, ok kids”
Winky as Proxy – Shardmind Psion
Nick as Kuraz – Goliath Weapons Master
Drewf as Chimera – Elf Seeker/Warlock
Resse as Mirokoth – Human Cleric
Troof is, it ain’t all that much of a story.
The recovery service lay low for abaht four weeks after we set fire to the university library. Chimera took the fall for that, which was nice of ‘im. Then once again there was two jobs going. There was one where some farmer ‘ad lost a pig, or summik. And there was another where some bad people ‘ad this thing wot the churches wanted us to recover so they could get rid of it.
Well, I wasn’t really up for any farming, ‘an this uvver job sounded more exciting ’cause I’d just been doing some quite odd jobs. So I joined Rob – the boss – on the artifact ‘an evil cultist job.
On the night, we played out choosing which job we would go on. As Korgul, I asked “Is it likely to get violent?” about the second job, and at a reply of “well … yes” skipped over to join Brendan’s table, to general mirth. Out of character, I just wanted to roll some dice – Andrews game was going to be a bit more talky.
So anyway. The boss and five of uss went over to this ‘ouse wher they was on ‘olidays or summik, and the cultists were in there somewhere. They ‘ad guards at the front gate, nothing serious, but we decided it’d be simpler just ter nip over the wall. So we did, and in the back door as quick as yer can say it.
We wos looking for a particular wall in the ‘ouse which was a bit wider than it ort to be. We found it, an followed it upstairs to a room which – I forget, I fink it was a library or a trophy room or summik. There was a magic sword on a bracket on the wall and it looked a bit unhappy where it wos so one of us decided to ‘elp it out a little and grabbed it.
Anyway. There was a hidden stairway there behind a swiveling bookcase.
(It’s a bit of a cliche, kids, but a swivelling wall wiv good balance is a good secret door – it’s quiet, reliable, you can make it big enuf for anything you might want to put through it, and its easy to make a good one if yer puts in a little effort. Use agate for the bearing – it’s fairly cheap if yer not looking for gem quality, it polishes nice, and it comes in lumps big enuf ter be useful, ‘cos yer need a lump wot doesn’t ‘ave cracks init. Don’t use a bookcase to ‘ide the panel: everyone does that an it’s the first place everyone looks. And make dead sure it doesn’t scuff the floor when it turns – ‘alf circles in the floor next to a wall is a dead giveaway. So is a clear spot where all the rest of the wall ‘as junk stacked against it, which is anuvver reason why a library is a bad idea. Alcove in a ‘all wot ‘as a corner to ‘ide behind is the best place.)
Where wos I? Oh yeah – so behind the swiveling bookcase was a stairway leading dahn to the basement. So we went dahn the stairs.
We all ‘erd the chanting straight away, so as so as we gets near enough, I charges in. Which wos very, very, very stupid. After I charges in, a couple of the cult people blocks off the passage in and I’m in there on my own, facing this preist wiv all magic an stuff, as well as some archers.
Well, I stabs im, don’t I? I mean – I ‘ad to. And I stabs ‘im a bit more, but I gets hit by the archers an the priest does summik to be so I goes blind. I drinks me potion and goes looking for ‘im, but by the time I finds ‘im ‘as a bunch of arrows in ‘im and ‘es brown bread.
So the boss grabs the thingummybob and we all ‘as a little rest. It was the first killing fight I ever been in, at the time. Seen a lot of bodies since then, kids, but they was the first. But all around the altar … actually, never mind kids – we’ll skip that bit.
So. We finds anuvver door dahn there and opens it. It looks like this little room has anuvver entrance, eh? We decide to explore. Not sure why – we got wot we came for.
Well, this passage opened out into a room, and just as we walked in these other geezers walk in the uvver side. Mean lookin – like us, I suppose. I fink our boss an’ their boss ‘ad words, then it wos on, an I was fighting free of ’em – or maybe four of em, all at once. There was arrows an swords and spells, an then the floor started to collapse an the two bosses drop into a ‘ole. But theyre still fighting dahn there. I get ‘urt an everyfing goes black, but as I’m drifting off Mirokoth (‘o is a priest on our side – no, not father Michael, ‘e joined us much later) says summik magic an I’m back in the fight. An all the time the ‘ole in the floor is getting bigger.
Well, we are winning, and the uvver boss runs off and Chimera chases ‘im, and the uvver boss frows a dager wot slows Chimera down a treat. And ‘e escapes. We all get away from the ‘ole in the floor, after doing a quick recover and repurpose op on the other geezers.
Naah, we fell to discussin the loot. It’s a fine balance, kids: you want wots yours, but at the same time if a mate of yours ‘as a weapon wot is going to win a fight, it’s a good idea for ‘im to ave it. If there’s a nice bit ‘o armour, it’s usually a better idea for the ‘ealer to ave it than for yer to take it for yerself, even if its yours by right.
The sword went to Kuraz, I fink. But the dagger wot Chimera pulled out of is side was summik else. It wosn’t just regular loot – it ‘ad the biggest dragonshard wot I ‘ad ever seen. I seen bigger ones since, but it wos still a very nice dagger an’ I wanted it, ‘specially since I wos the only one there wot fights wiv a knife. On the uvver hand, Chimera wos saying as ‘e fished it out of ‘is own side, it wos ‘is, and it wos kind of hard to argue the point. Naah, no-one wants fings to get ugly, but they could ‘ave done.
But then ‘e as a thort, and ‘e offers it to me an says “Sorted?”, and I knew ‘e wos talking about that book I got from the library for ‘im. Well, it wosn’t wot I was expecting: I fort ‘e’d do some big favour for me some day. But on the other ‘and it wos just a bit ‘o burglary an only took a sec, and he was making a very fair offer: more than fair, judging by the size of those dragonshards. An I didn’t particularly need any specific favours done at the time. So after a mo, I says “sorted” an takes the dagger. An it wos very nice, an very magic. I sold it eventually, an got an even more powerful one wiv bigger dragonshards, but the one Chimera gave me came in very, very ‘andy for a long time.
Wot I’m telling yer, kids, is that it doesn’t pay ter be unreasonable wiv yer mates. Remember I said that priest wot blinded me wos dead an full of arrows when I could see ‘im again? It wos Chimera wot ad shot ‘im. ‘E saved my life, kids, just a couple of minutes before. Troof is: when ‘e offered me that dagger for ‘is book, he didn’t really owe me anyfing.
So, that’s all there wos to it. The boss dropped the artifact fing off at the nearest temple of the twelve, an the rest of us went back to the shop.
The ‘ouse is still there, but they’ve re-done it a couple of times since then, and it don’t look nuffink like wot it looked when we were there. We’ll do summik else tomorrer, ok? Nah go ter sleep and leave yer old uncle to fink abaht fings. I’ll still be ‘ere in the mornin.
I’m finding the d4 damage die disappointing, so I’m thinking of taking the “use a heavy blade instead of a dagger” feat. I’ll lose the +1 to-hit that a brutal scoundrel gets with a dagger. If I also lose the +3 proficiency bonus then it won’t be worth it. I’ll have to check. In any case, this weapon will transform into a +2 sap, which could come in handy 🙂 .