Me and Mandor and whatshisface was havin’ a chat about, you know – where to now? And we decided wot with one thing and another to ‘ead down ter the adventurer’s quarter at Deathsgate. There wos a bar – ‘o course – and some likely characters. So we ‘eads in an settles down. Mandor decides to get up on stage an cut in on the minstrel, oo wasn’t doing to well, and she was top. Us others decide to ‘elp out the barman a bit, even though ‘e wos a goblin, because we thort it might be good for business, you know?
Well sure enough after we deals wiv a customer ‘oo was taking liberties, ‘e points us to a bloke ‘oo might ‘ave a bit of work. So we goes to ‘ave a chat.
Well, he knows someone wot ‘as some work, but he warns us it’s a little bit on the dodgy side. I’m ok, Mandor is ok. The priest is ok, too, which is a little surprisin’. Oh – and we ran into Baedryn and invited ‘im along.
Now, this bloke with work is a vampire ‘oo is (or used ter be – not sure ‘ow it works) a Deva. Named Marr.
So this Marr lives in Hadran’s tomb (where else, eh?) and he ‘as some gezer tied up in a pit wot ‘e is going ter eat. I mean – maybe we should ‘ave done summik. ‘E wos all screaming for ‘elp an shit. But – well, I dunno why we didn’t.
So we meets Marr, an ‘e wants us ter come wiv ‘im ter some dragon tomb and get an artifact, wot ‘e wouldn’t say wot it wos. An when I asked ‘im wot ‘e wos payin, ‘e wos all “The tombs is filled wiv great riches! You’ll be able to pinch summik, nah worries!”
Live ‘an learn. Next time someone tries ter hire me in exchange fer “whatever yer pick up on the way”, I’ll know better.
Anyway. We all decides this sounds like a top idea, and we ‘eads ter the dragon tombs wiv this Deva vampire geezer ‘oo won’t say what we are doing there or wot ‘e is payin. Wot could go wrong?
(Oh yeah – he et the tied up bloke. Sounded messy. But whatever problems that bloke might of ‘ad that put ‘im there, they are all over now, eh?)
So Marr give us all a Ghoul Candle, wot is this interesting bit of kit wot gives a light that the undead can’t see so we could walk throo there wivout being mobbed. And we winds up in this big room wiv a fucking dragon skeleton sittin’ on this dome. An in front of it was anuvver very suss looking bloke – by which I mean dead – an ‘e says like “Wotcher Marr! I see you ave brought more sacrifices ter feed ter the dragon!” An Marr goes, “Sort of. First I is going ter kill you, then I is going ter feed ’em ter the dragon.”
Right. That explains why ‘e wos a little vague abaht wot ‘e wos payin’ us.
At which point it’s on. And the two dead blokes start fightin – magic an shit. There’s zombies ‘an skeletons all over the shop, wot Mandor an the shifter starts killin (if that’s the right word).
But I’m finkin that regardless of whether Marr or ‘is boss wins their fight, next fing they’ll do is try ter feed us ter the dragon. Wot I don’t want ter happen. I figure I can stop this by disassembling the skeleton ter the point where it can’t eat, by hitting it repeatedly wiv my sword. So I jumps up on the dome sort of fing wot the dragon is sittin on an’ begins doing that. The dragon is already got ‘is heart beating (like, skeleton wiv organs) and won’t be long before ‘e is awake.
Then this uvver bunch of geezers come out of nowhere and one of em tangles me up in these string fings with weights (also a nice bit ‘o kit – I should get sum) and says as I’m lyin on the grounbd tangled up “Sorry mate, but better they eat you than me.”
So ‘e runs off, an I gets out of the strings an by this time the dragon is movin and I gets behind ‘im and Bayedrin an Mandor an the shifter gets onter it an it swipes me an the preist ‘eals me, and Mandor does something magic an suddenly I know that my next ‘it is going ter be a beauty so I put everyfing inter it and slit open that fing a treat! Marr runs off, cos ‘es pretty badly ‘urt, and we ‘ear a scream down the corridor as ‘e get ‘is strength back wiv a little ‘elp from one of them cowards wot ran off.
Then after a few more seconds and everyone piling on the dragon stops movin’. An Marr is back ‘an ‘es like “Don’t kill it”, but I’m thinkin that ‘e wosn’t going ter pay us and ‘es probably still intending ter feed us to it so fuck ‘im and I splits open the skull of this fing.
An ‘es all “You fools! Wo ‘ave you done?” An I’m “I bloody ‘eard you tell that geezer you wos going ter feed us to it”. And he says “The trickster comes in many forms”, which is bull, so I says “well, looks like you’ve tricked yerself a bit too trickily, ‘avent yer?”
Not my finest comeback. I’ve fort of about two dozen fings in the past arf hour that would ‘ave been better, but you know ‘ow it is.
Anyway. Mandor scores a very nice shield, and we get a helmet wiv a horn on it, but I’m not giving up my ‘at. There’s some uvver bits an bobs on the dead geezers. An Marr says ter me “I also have a gift for you” an ‘es lookin in my eyes ter try ter distract me while this beetle or cockroach or summik drops off ‘im an heads towards me. I stomp it, an ‘e says “maybe there’s hope for you yet. Nah piss off.”
Bit strange ‘e wos all civilised at the end, but vampires, eh? ‘E killed ‘is boss, so I suppose the day wosn’t a total loss for ‘im.
Anyway. I’m a bit sorry ter hear abaht the nightmaster – I wos ‘opin ‘ed ‘ave sum work. But there yer go. Termorrer’s anuvver day, eh?