Nahh, I dunno ‘ow, but someone got wind ovvit, and left us a crate of shit at the u-stow-it. There was bombs, rope ‘an ‘ook (magic, ‘o course), a couple of other bits an bobs. The bombs were on little feet an ‘ad a timer, but wos a touch unreliable. I spots the rat wot dilevered ’em and goes to ‘ave a chat. Asks ‘im ‘oo, what, why. All e knows, e reckons, is that ‘e wos told ter say “The gate will require four”.
I lets ‘im go, still not knowing ‘oo what why, and perticulerly ‘ow.
The prison is a buildin’ wiv a yard out front, five-foot fick walls orl around, fifty foot ‘igh. Platform on the inside, orl the way around fouty foot up. Guards wiv crossbows. Tricky. We talks throo the night, an eventually decides the simple route.
Step 1 is Idem gets ‘imself arrested – not ‘ard ter do if yer make a nuisance of yerself in the wrong part ‘o town. Once inside, ‘e finds six-fingers and explains the job to ‘im. Posistions the two of ’em near enough ter the door ter make a run for it, but no so near as ter get killed bu the explosion.
Step 2 is we acquires a fruit-seller’s ‘andcart. A big one. And loads the six bombs inter it.
Step 3 is I goes sellin fruit right up the prison gates. “Apples! Bernarners! Fresh cucumbers!” mEanwhile, C-dog teleports ‘imself inside just in case Idem can use sum ‘elp, like.
Step 4 is when the guards tell me ter hoof it, I hoofs it fast as I can and leaves the cart there. Because of wot step 5 involves.
Step 5, Kashana drops sum magic fire inter the bombs from a hundred foot back, an’ all hell breaks loose.
Those little fuckers explode and blow a chunk out ‘o the gate. Just as advertised! They took out a couple o geezers outside as well. Wrong place, wrong time. Couldn’t be ‘elped. And a couple of guards.
And then it’s fight ter clear the way out so as Idem and C-Dog can ‘elp fingers leg it. Not as easy as it sounds, cause these bastards wearing gold armour flies down. And they is all good wiv a blade. But Gauthak earned ‘is pay, and Kashana is shootin’, and I ‘as a bit of a stab, too. There’s a stream of blokes running out the door, and C-Dog and Idem an Six Fingers comes out just before a couple ‘o guards block it ter stop more prisoners escapin’. Then Idem ‘ands Fingers over an turns an runs over the wall – I never seen anyfink like it – and back inside. Fify foot – no joke.
But it’s still goin’ on outside. They are shootin us from the wall. Fingers gets a bolt ter the shoulder and I give ‘im one of Biggle’s ‘ealin potions, but it’s time ter get ‘im out. A few more seconds an we ‘ave cleared out the guards and the gold armour blokes, an Kashana hoofs fingers over the edge. Wiv a Feather Fall, o’ course.
Then Idem comes back out and this woman wiv a bit more braid than the others is attackin an drops ‘im. Maybe I should ‘o left ‘im. But we is orl friends now, right, so I runs over ‘an gave ‘im unnuver one of Biggle’s potions. (Sensible purchase, them). Ad a go at wotserface, but even dahn on the ground (I ferget ‘ow she fell over. Didn’t see it). I couldn’t touch ‘er.
But although I couldn’t touch ‘er, I took out a guard when ‘e fort I wosnt watching, and the sword I got from the Sand King puts up this sandstorm. I shall ‘ave ter remember ter fank ‘im. Ms Wotsername flies off back up on top of the wall (they ‘ad “JetPacks”. Very nice. Biggles wos orl enthusiastic when I described ’em to ‘im) and we exchange words.
Then everyone ‘oo is left legs it and we makje our way downstairs ter retrieve Fingers.
So after orl that, we starts ter get sum nice quality recruits. Some blokes from the prison at the time, some coves wot just ‘eard abaht the break. Everyone likes a bit ‘o excitement. Orlso, a lot of people respects that we didn’t leave fingers ter rot in prison.
An we also very, very publicly killed a couple ‘o guards and some regular bystanders. As well as – you know – busting open the prison at Ambassador Towers wiv more explosive than wos stricty necessary. Miss gold armour is very, very upset abaht it. No goin’ back now. Which is fine wiv me.
Still like to know who arranged for the bombs, though, and ‘ow they knew wot we were plannin.