So me and some of the lads goes down ter firelight cos I wants a go in the boxing ring against that gnoll wot we saw last time we was down there.
Well, there isn’t that gnoll in the ring, but there is this Minotar and he’s losin. So Idem gums up inter the ring, pulls the other bloke offim, and him and the minotaur goes inter the bar fer a chat. (I found out later that they ‘ad met during the prison break).
I steps up and says I wants a fight, but no one is around oo is ready ter have a go. Then Marr steps out of the tavern and says he’ll fight.
Now, we met Marr before and frankly I didn’t fancy my chances. But Gauthak reckons he is good ter go, so he hops in and I starts latin bets against ‘im, cos I’ll be frank – Marr gives me the willies.
Marr lays down the rules – anything goes, and if Gauthak wins, ‘e can ‘ear a secret or get something nice.
Meanwhile, C Dog [Nick’s character. I keep forgetting – Cervix? Corves! That’s it!] is shaking down ‘alfling pickpocket, wot the place is full of. He is trying ter find out ‘oo runs the district, but they is being pretty close abaht it.
So that leaves me ‘an Kashana, oo proceeds ter have a game ‘o knuckles. [Basic attack vs reflex. No hp damage, just scoring points.]
So Gauthak ‘its Marr an its on. There’s chunks of elemental earth flying, lighting, thunder – you name it. I think he breaks something serious on the first hit. Then Marr comes back – he is summoning shadow demons or some shit, laying down death effects. People in the crowd starts fallin unconscious an dyin, and the ones that aren’t dying are running – screaming chaos.
Meanwhile, Corves ‘as a halfling by the collar and is usin’ his electric scourge ter whip ‘im. But he’s keeping mum – plucky little bloke. Me and Kashana is 2 to 1, my way.
And Gauthak goes for Marr again – more lightning, boulders appearing out ‘o nowhere, the cobbles of the street animating and covering him in armour. Marr summons more dead things – more bystanders being killed. Corves is still whipping the halfling (or maybe he caught another one), and Kashana equalises.
An I asks ‘er – “Kashana,” I says, “just out ‘o curiosity, oo enforces magic shit in Sharn?” And she says “Well, that would be the King’s Wand. Remember those guards that came to defend the prison? Like them, but with robes.” And I says, “Oh. Well, I ‘ope Gauthak and Marr finish up quick, then.”
There’s a bit more lightning, and thunder, and earthquakes, and portals ter hell and shadowy chaos bein’ ripped open, an Marr goes dahn. And I beats Kashana three ter two. I looks around, but orl the people ‘oo ‘ad taken my bets against Gauthak is either dead or run orf, which is good.
I considers if it would be wise ter kill Marr outright, but after a mo ‘is skull starts ter mend itself and orl the dead fluids starts ter gather itself tergether and seep back inter ‘is ‘ead. Lost opportunity, there.
So I heads over ter Corves, and wot ‘es been doin ter this harfling – well, my stomach gave a bit of a flutter at the sight, which is saying something. I suggests ter Corves that I might ‘ave a word wiv ‘im, and I grabs ‘im, shakes ‘im a bit, and yells “Right! You tell me ‘oo runs this place, or I’ll give yer back ter C Dog!”
[Andrew felt, at this point, that with my +22 to intimidate and the various circumstance bonuses – you know, being whipped mercilessly with a cattle prod, gates to hell opening up, etc – that he’d have to count it as an auto success.]
So ‘e cries a bit, and tells me the Boromir Clan runs Firelight.
Shit. I did not want to get on the wrong side of those bastards.
I puts ‘im down, and tells ‘im ter loot the corpses. Then ‘andsome ‘ank shows up. So I tells ‘im “Oh officer! Thank the gods you ‘ave arrived! It were terrible!” and I don’t fink I would ‘ave fooled anyone else. But it wos good enough for ‘im. Cos he is stupid as the proverbial.
He ‘eads inside an people start buying him drinks and telling ‘im how great he is. Then Kashana tells me something very, very interestin’. Handsome Hank ‘as some kind of enchantment onnim. She says it is like a glamour, wot I don’t know wot that is, but she seem ter. She’s keen ter disenchant ‘im and see wot happens. I says, well – if yer can be discrete.
So she does, and wot der yer know – people start drifting off an ignoring ‘im, the barman actually tells ‘im ter pay fer the drinks.
Now, url we need ter to is engineer some way of doing this again somewhere where it is going ter cause maximum embarrassment, cos I ‘ate that prick.
Gauthak comes back, lookin pleased wiv ‘imself. I finds Idem and the minotaur, and we all pisses orf before the rozzers come down and starts arsking awkward questions.