GG4 – Gauthak holds his own

24 August, 2012

Andrew didn’t have a game ready to go, so it was a bit of an ad-libbed session. Fun, though.

So me and some of the lads goes down ter firelight cos I wants a go in the boxing ring against that gnoll wot we saw last time we was down there.

Well, there isn’t that gnoll in the ring, but there is this Minotar and he’s losin. So Idem gums up inter the ring, pulls the other bloke offim, and him and the minotaur goes inter the bar fer a chat. (I found out later that they ‘ad met during the prison break).

I steps up and says I wants a fight, but no one is around oo is ready ter have a go. Then Marr steps out of the tavern and says he’ll fight.

Now, we met Marr before and frankly I didn’t fancy my chances. But Gauthak reckons he is good ter go, so he hops in and I starts latin bets against ‘im, cos I’ll be frank – Marr gives me the willies.

Marr lays down the rules – anything goes, and if Gauthak wins, ‘e can ‘ear a secret or get something nice.

Meanwhile, C Dog [Nick’s character. I keep forgetting – Cervix? Corves! That’s it!] is shaking down ‘alfling pickpocket, wot the place is full of. He is trying ter find out ‘oo runs the district, but they is being pretty close abaht it.

So that leaves me ‘an Kashana, oo proceeds ter have a game ‘o knuckles. [Basic attack vs reflex. No hp damage, just scoring points.]

So Gauthak ‘its Marr an its on. There’s chunks of elemental earth flying, lighting, thunder – you name it. I think he breaks something serious on the first hit. Then Marr comes back – he is summoning shadow demons or some shit, laying down death effects. People in the crowd starts fallin unconscious an dyin, and the ones that aren’t dying are running – screaming chaos.

Meanwhile, Corves ‘as a halfling by the collar and is usin’ his electric scourge ter whip ‘im. But he’s keeping mum – plucky little bloke. Me and Kashana is 2 to 1, my way.

And Gauthak goes for Marr again – more lightning, boulders appearing out ‘o nowhere, the cobbles of the street animating and covering him in armour. Marr summons more dead things – more bystanders being killed. Corves is still whipping the halfling (or maybe he caught another one), and Kashana equalises.

An I asks ‘er – “Kashana,” I says, “just out ‘o curiosity, oo enforces magic shit in Sharn?” And she says “Well, that would be the King’s Wand. Remember those guards that came to defend the prison? Like them, but with robes.” And I says, “Oh. Well, I ‘ope Gauthak and Marr finish up quick, then.”

There’s a bit more lightning, and thunder, and earthquakes, and portals ter hell and shadowy chaos bein’ ripped open, an Marr goes dahn. And I beats Kashana three ter two. I looks around, but orl the people ‘oo ‘ad taken my bets against Gauthak is either dead or run orf, which is good.

I considers if it would be wise ter kill Marr outright, but after a mo ‘is skull starts ter mend itself and orl the dead fluids starts ter gather itself tergether and seep back inter ‘is ‘ead. Lost opportunity, there.

So I heads over ter Corves, and wot ‘es been doin ter this harfling – well, my stomach gave a bit of a flutter at the sight, which is saying something. I suggests ter Corves that I might ‘ave a word wiv ‘im, and I grabs ‘im, shakes ‘im a bit, and yells “Right! You tell me ‘oo runs this place, or I’ll give yer back ter C Dog!”

[Andrew felt, at this point, that with my +22 to intimidate and the various circumstance bonuses – you know, being whipped mercilessly with a cattle prod, gates to hell opening up, etc – that he’d have to count it as an auto success.]

So ‘e cries a bit, and tells me the Boromir Clan runs Firelight.

Shit. I did not want to get on the wrong side of those bastards.

I puts ‘im down, and tells ‘im ter loot the corpses. Then ‘andsome ‘ank shows up. So I tells ‘im “Oh officer! Thank the gods you ‘ave arrived! It were terrible!” and I don’t fink I would ‘ave fooled anyone else. But it wos good enough for ‘im. Cos he is stupid as the proverbial.

He ‘eads inside an people start buying him drinks and telling ‘im how great he is. Then Kashana tells me something very, very interestin’. Handsome Hank ‘as some kind of enchantment onnim. She says it is like a glamour, wot I don’t know wot that is, but she seem ter. She’s keen ter disenchant ‘im and see wot happens. I says, well – if yer can be discrete.

So she does, and wot der yer know – people start drifting off an ignoring ‘im, the barman actually tells ‘im ter pay fer the drinks.

Now, url we need ter to is engineer some way of doing this again somewhere where it is going ter cause maximum embarrassment, cos I ‘ate that prick.

Gauthak comes back, lookin pleased wiv ‘imself. I finds Idem and the minotaur, and we all pisses orf before the rozzers come down and starts arsking awkward questions.

In addition, we also found out that the districts around us at mid level are all controlled by House Tarkanan, which is what we expected. No criminal-empire building beyond that, though.

Chaotic Evil

21 August, 2012

In Dungeons and Dragons – well, in 3.5 at least – morality is divided into two axes. A person can be Lawful, Neutral, or Chaotic. At the same time, a person can be Good, Neutral, or Evil.

When it comes to how the law axis interacts with evil, I like to put it like this.

A Lawful Evil person will break into your house and take your stuff because someone told him to do it. Or because he has persuaded himself that he has some sort of right to to it (typically that you owe him some sort of debt).

A Neutral Evil person will break into your house and take your stuff because he wants what’s in it. Vey simple, very straightforward.

Chaotic Evil is different. I’ll separate them into two kinds.

Firstly, a chaotic evil person will break into your house and take your stuff to prove to you that society is bullshit. That locks are a lie, that your comfy, safe little world is an illusion. That is: they are sending a message. They have a political goal. At bottom, they fear the fact that normal people trust each other and can cooperate. They themselves are incapable of it, but they see how people are strong in groups, and they don’t understand how it’s possible to live like that. Therefore, they attack that trust, that “social capital” where they can. To remake the world into something they understand.

Secondly, and less philosophically, a chaotic evil person will break into your house not to take your stuff, but to vandalise it. For the sheer joy of destruction. They will fuck shit up not to achieve anything, but because fucking shit up is what they like to do. It’s an end in itself.

And yes, there really are such people. Criminal pricks. Quite a lot of them, actually. It’s not a fantasy, it’s not even much of an oversimplification. I’ve seen them, I’ve met them. They live around us. We as a society do what we can to minimise the damage they cause.

Don’t try to understand ’em. Don’t try to make excuses for them, or account for what they do. There is no deeper layer to their behaviour, there is no “there” there. Why do bullies bully? Because it feels good. The fact that this is what feels good for them is what is evil about them; and the fact they can’t or won’t restrain their impulses is what being chaotic is. “Why”, after a point, ceases to matter in that it doesn’t change the is what it is.

They are just crims, that’s all.

GG4 – A little bit of fun

14 August, 2012

Well! So me ‘an C-Dog an’ the new blokes Kashana an’ Gauthak, and the monk Idem [sorry, guys – that’s what I have written down] decides we is going to bust six-fingers out ‘o prison. For a variety of very sensible reasons.

Nahh, I dunno ‘ow, but someone got wind ovvit, and left us a crate of shit at the u-stow-it. There was bombs, rope ‘an ‘ook (magic, ‘o course), a couple of other bits an bobs. The bombs were on little feet an ‘ad a timer, but wos a touch unreliable. I spots the rat wot dilevered ’em and goes to ‘ave a chat. Asks ‘im ‘oo, what, why. All e knows, e reckons, is that ‘e wos told ter say “The gate will require four”.

I lets ‘im go, still not knowing ‘oo what why, and perticulerly ‘ow.

The prison is a buildin’ wiv a yard out front, five-foot fick walls orl around, fifty foot ‘igh. Platform on the inside, orl the way around fouty foot up. Guards wiv crossbows. Tricky. We talks throo the night, an eventually decides the simple route.

Step 1 is Idem gets ‘imself arrested – not ‘ard ter do if yer make a nuisance of yerself in the wrong part ‘o town. Once inside, ‘e finds six-fingers and explains the job to ‘im. Posistions the two of ’em near enough ter the door ter make a run for it, but no so near as ter get killed bu the explosion.

Step 2 is we acquires a fruit-seller’s ‘andcart. A big one. And loads the six bombs inter it.

Step 3 is I goes sellin fruit right up the prison gates. “Apples! Bernarners! Fresh cucumbers!” mEanwhile, C-dog teleports ‘imself inside just in case Idem can use sum ‘elp, like.

Step 4 is when the guards tell me ter hoof it, I hoofs it fast as I can and leaves the cart there. Because of wot step 5 involves.

Step 5, Kashana drops sum magic fire inter the bombs from a hundred foot back, an’ all hell breaks loose.

Those little fuckers explode and blow a chunk out ‘o the gate. Just as advertised! They took out a couple o geezers outside as well. Wrong place, wrong time. Couldn’t be ‘elped. And a couple of guards.

Being careless of the lives of innocent bystanders definitely shifts Korgul towards evil. Everyone else involved, too.

And then it’s fight ter clear the way out so as Idem and C-Dog can ‘elp fingers leg it. Not as easy as it sounds, cause these bastards wearing gold armour flies down. And they is all good wiv a blade. But Gauthak earned ‘is pay, and Kashana is shootin’, and I ‘as a bit of a stab, too. There’s a stream of blokes running out the door, and C-Dog and Idem an Six Fingers comes out just before a couple ‘o guards block it ter stop more prisoners escapin’. Then Idem ‘ands Fingers over an turns an runs over the wall – I never seen anyfink like it – and back inside. Fify foot – no joke.

But it’s still goin’ on outside. They are shootin us from the wall. Fingers gets a bolt ter the shoulder and I give ‘im one of Biggle’s ‘ealin potions, but it’s time ter get ‘im out. A few more seconds an we ‘ave cleared out the guards and the gold armour blokes, an Kashana hoofs fingers over the edge. Wiv a Feather Fall, o’ course.

Then Idem comes back out and this woman wiv a bit more braid than the others is attackin an drops ‘im. Maybe I should ‘o left ‘im. But we is orl friends now, right, so I runs over ‘an gave ‘im unnuver one of Biggle’s potions. (Sensible purchase, them). Ad a go at wotserface, but even dahn on the ground (I ferget ‘ow she fell over. Didn’t see it). I couldn’t touch ‘er.

Luke took Idem back inside to give Ms. In-Charge something to remember The Service by. The dice were not his friend. Nor mine – when she chased him outside, I dropped a daily on her. Rolled a 3. But I have an item that gives me a reroll! Rolled a 4.

But although I couldn’t touch ‘er, I took out a guard when ‘e fort I wosnt watching, and the sword I got from the Sand King puts up this sandstorm. I shall ‘ave ter remember ter fank ‘im. Ms Wotsername flies off back up on top of the wall (they ‘ad “JetPacks”. Very nice. Biggles wos orl enthusiastic when I described ’em to ‘im) and we exchange words.

Then everyone ‘oo is left legs it and we makje our way downstairs ter retrieve Fingers.

So after orl that, we starts ter get sum nice quality recruits. Some blokes from the prison at the time, some coves wot just ‘eard abaht the break. Everyone likes a bit ‘o excitement. Orlso, a lot of people respects that we didn’t leave fingers ter rot in prison.

An we also very, very publicly killed a couple ‘o guards and some regular bystanders. As well as – you know – busting open the prison at Ambassador Towers wiv more explosive than wos stricty necessary. Miss gold armour is very, very upset abaht it. No goin’ back now. Which is fine wiv me.

Still like to know who arranged for the bombs, though, and ‘ow they knew wot we were plannin.

Piranha Brothers, pt1
Piranha Brothers, pt2