Dear Person Who Sticks Notes To People’s Motorbikes


A note for Monday night, to stick to my bike. I hope whoever-it-was reads it.

You are mistaken: this carpark does not have a motorbike parking area. Perhaps you are thinking of the bicycle rack yonder. If I were to plonk my bike there, I’d get notes from the cyclists! From the fact that you think that motorbikes (even mine) can be parked there, and (of course) from the smiley-face on your note, I surmise that your car is covered with parking dings. Not only are most bikes too long and wide to fit in these spots, they are motor vehicles, with engines, and you cannot simply lift them into place as you can a bicycle. It is geometrically impossible to park this bike in that bike rack. I can tell that just by looking (although I have in fact also given it a go, just to be sure). But you cannot.

However, I invite you to try. I’m in the Good Games store, playing D&D. I’m the overweight middle-aged bloke pretending to be a half-orc cockney criminal. Wander over, ask for Paul, and I’ll run this bike over to the rack, turn it off, and film you while you try to wheel it into a spot. This offer is conditional on your agreement that I may post the resulting hilarious video on YouTube with the title “Woman thinks cycle rack is for motorbikes”.

So. Given the completely obvious fact that that’s a cycle rack, not a motorbike parking area, I’m sure you agree that have as much business using a parking spot in this carpark as any other ACT licensed road user, operating an ACT registered motor vehicle, who is a customer of one of the stores here. I reject your “othering” language – the world is not split into car drivers and motorbike riders: we are all legitimate road users, and I am not a 2nd class citizen. I am no more “inconveniencing car drivers” than – well – than you, when you use a parking spot.

It’s funny that if I were driving myself around in some m-fking enormous 4WD and making it impossible for the cars parked next to me to even open their doors and generally being an environment-wrecking pest, you’d have no trouble with me using a spot; but even though bike – especially scooter – riders will often double up and fit two or more in a spot where there is no bike parking space, it all “damn motorbikes using our parking!”.

It’s always just setting yourself up for disappointment, to expect appreciation. I might as well park like a spatially-challenged soccer mum and be done with it.

Anyway. I have my my iPhone, and am totally ready to start filming.

Cheers!

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2 Responses to Dear Person Who Sticks Notes To People’s Motorbikes

  1. Duke Jope says:

    I gather from the lack of youtube hilarity that soccer mum in a tank did not stay?

  2. Paul Murray says:

    I stuck the note to my bike this evening, but sadly – no takers.

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