I want me a woman, one who is as drunk as I am, right now.
I’d hold her hair for her, and tell her “It’s ok” while she vomited into the toilet. Then I’d kiss her right on the mouth and pretend I couldn’t taste it.
Then we’d go to bed and fall unconscious. About ten we’d wake, and both be thinking the same thing: “I totally need to piss, and also I am incredibly thirsty”. We’d take turns, one of us using the bathroom while the other slurped water straight out of the tap. Then we’d go back to bed and hump, although nothing much would come of it.
(I once has sex with a woman who felt, seeing as we had had sex, that it was totally ok for her to leave the door of the bathroom open while she had a piss. What the fuck? Maybe it’s having kids does that to a person. They lose their sense of propriety when it comes to bodily functions.)
About two we’d wake again. I’d tell her: “babe, I have D&D at six” and one of us would catch a taxi home. Probably me.
Just a little slice of happiness is all I really want.