Kingmaker

29 July, 2013

Goodness, I haven’t made a diary entry in ages. And so much to write about!

We get the impression, from Briar, that Nerissa has some few main underlings and that killing them might be a good idea. So instead of simply heading to where we think her castle is, we are taking side trips, and periodically returning to prime for much-needed recuperation.

We took down the enormous crow (or whatever it was) that seemed to be linked to the dreams that had been besetting our people. It was shrouded in shadows and hard to hit – I burned a Limited Wish and a 1500gp diamond to duplicate the effect of a Farie Fire spell, after which it was easy meat for his majesty.

We were attacked by frost giants in a frozen graveyard – one of them being particularly enormous and four-armed. It was a straight-up fight, that one: I didn’t get involved.

We visited some sort of iron beehive thing, and were attacked by trolls. One particularly big one had a necklace made of soul cages, which we had enountered before – any harm done to the wearer is transferred to the pixies trapped within. While Jope and Rainor dealt with the other trolls, Kalos fumbled about, attempting to get the necklace off the troll with his lance. Not the right tool for the job. Happily, Gruyere cast a spell on it, forbidding it to attack, and it retreated indoors. I asked Kalos to kindly bugger off and Dimension Doored inside its home – chasing it about until I could grab the necklace, then Dimension Doored out again and freed the pixies. Always prepare two castings of Dimension Door – one to get you into trouble, and one to get you out again.

Switch used an improved invis and a expeditious retreat to chase the thing, and Arcane Trickster “Ranged Legerdemain” to swipe the MacGuffin. DM handwaved the chase.

And while I was busy doing that, the boys beat it up, and we stacked the trolls outside and set fire to them. [We just assumed this – didn’t actually do the “making sure they were actually dead” bit IIRC.]

At which point, we headed to the big tower thing that we had been leaving till last. As we suspected, it was the same as the tower that appeared breifly on out plane, disgorging an army of fey. On this plane, it is surrounded by statues of fey – all broken. We surmise that each statue is one of the fey that came to our plane and was killed.

Rainor heard deep, very slow breathing within, and we surmised “dragon” – the great blue dragon that we had seen earlier. So we cast protections from lighning and his majesty insisted on attacking through the air, from the top. I thought that was a bit pointless, but it turns out that it was the right thing to do.

Inside the tower was an enormous pile of treasure, moving as the dragon beneath it breathed. I blatted it with my most powerful offensive spell and we were attacked. From above. With acid.

Damn.

Still haven’t surprised anything and used the Arcane Trickster “surprise spell” class ability.

Completely fooled. It was invisible, and completely the wrong colour. The attack popped the Phantom Steeds that Gruyere and I were using, and the acid formed a pool at the base of the tower into which we were dropping. I cast Feather Fall and was lucky enough to fall on the pile of treasure. I spent ages casting Fly, and when I finally attacked it with a Disintegrate it dodged the blow. Double damn.

Next thing I know, I was on the floor with Kalos was applying a paste – Stone Salve. I had been petrified. Another few precious seconds to cast See Invisible and Glitterdust, and then I flew up to give Gruyere a Resist Energy. The damn dragon nearly got me.

Switch failed her reflex save by one point, was out of action points, and should be seriously dead. But we are at the “Fuck it, let’s finish this campaign” stage.

And no-one wants Zack Jackson back.

I finally dropped a Greater Dispel Magic into it, targetting any See Invisible or True Sight spells it might have. Now I was ready to lay down some hurt! But Rainor, who had been calmly firing arrow after dragon-bane arrow into the thing got his final shot and felled it. Deservedly so, and it’s unbecoming to be grumpy about it I suppose.

The dragon was rocking See Invisible, Mage Armour and Fire Resistance, and a few other things. The greater dispel took down those three, and I totally would have gotten the kill. Then again, Andrew was playing Rainor and missed a whole swag of damage that Rainor would have been doing. The fight would not have gone on for as long as it did had Brett been at the table. Get well soon, bro!

So. A dead dragon – an elder black dragon, in fact. We took its head for the trophy room (Naturally. Perhaps His Majesty might like to make it into a throne? Or a towel rack for the turtle-shell bath?) and then we fell to sorting through its hoard. Quite a bit of copper and silver – the acid not doing that any good whatsoever. I suggested that if Gruyere could Create Water, we could flush the worst of it away. There were sundry bits and pieces, plenty of diamonds (I shall Shatter some at next opportunity – I am fresh out of dust for Stoneskin).

Second-cheesiest spell in the book: Stoneskin (communal). We have gone through 5000gp worth of diamond dust so far at 100gp per recipient. Totally worth it. Cheesiest is now Greater Forbid Action.

There was an Apparatus of The Crab under all that coin. I’m fairly sure that that’s what the dragon had placed his illusion on, to make us think that he was beneath it all. An enchanted starknife, which I have claimed, a gem of seeing, a Manual of Bodily Health (for Kalos, whose companions keep getting confused and using him as a practice dummy), Cloak of the Bat (for Jope, I think, who often needs to fly at things to beat them up), some armour, a pair of (very powerful) bracers of armour, and – Sweet Desna! Oh my god! A Rod of Quicken Spell, and not just any, but a Greater Rod of Quicken Spell! There’s not a mage on Golarion but would seriously consider selling their soul for such! Never in my wildest – well, actually, several times in my wildest dreams. But now – how many of these can there be in the whole world?

As I mentioned, nominated “rods” for my special prize and rolled 100. Un-freaking-believable. I might go wizard instead of rogue for my next (and probably final) level, now that I can get off those high-level spells.

We rode the Apparatus of the Crab back to the portal to prime, and I’m sure the royal navy will welcome the addition to their amphibious division. I might add some illusions to it, when we have leisure to do so, and King Jope – master armourer that he is – has some ideas too.

After passing through the portal, we found that several days had passed, and the dreams had ceased as we had hoped they would with the death of the giant raven in the other world. Nerissa knows that we are coming for her, Briar in hand. I think the people need to see their victorious king, dragon-head in tow. We oughn’t dally, but I think we need some time off. There’s a spell: Forcecage, which I have been working on, and we have more than enough ruby from the dragon hoard for a few castings.

And, if we succeed, after that? I don’t know. Perhaps I should return home, or at least visit. I cannot stay with the annuals forever, as some of us have. But it says a great deal that I can think of a future beyond this war.

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Random treasure

29 July, 2013

So anyway, we killed a dragon. An elder black dragon, if you please. I should write it up, but there was a lot of fumbling around. Got turned to stone, at one point.

Anyway. Dave the DM looks at the loot in the module and says “Pfft! Call this a dragon hoard? Ok, guys: weapons, armour, rings, rods, staffs or wondrous items. Pick one each, roll percentile.”

I picked “rods”. Hey – I could get lucky!

Rolled 100.

Greater metamagic rod of quicken.

OMFG.

Has Desna forgiven Switch, yet? I don’t know. But things have definitely gotten cheesier.


Guess who?

20 July, 2013

A clue: guess who.

The year has not been kind to her. No longer merely carrying a little extra weight. No sir. Didn’t recognise her as being the same Annette. Still aggressive, still playing games.

It was an odd night overall, really. Good looking-woman, face like a newsreader (felt like I recognised her from somewhere) wearing fitted clothes that felt like armour. And Ms blonde person. It’s all a bit of a blur, really.

Screw this. I should write some more about Eunice.


Trayvon Martin

16 July, 2013

Every controversial case brings out a swag of people prepared to insist that they are better triers of fact than a jury who are required to hear all the relevant evidence.

Just to irritate people, I’ll post some pics here of young Mr Trayvon Martin, whose twitter id was “NO_LIMIT_NIGGA”. 6’2″.

And for additional fun, a photo of Mr Zimmerman, who shot a six-foot-two 17-yo thug who was at the time beating his head against a concrete curb:

No corresponding injuries on Mr Martin, of course. A very one-sided fight. Was Mr Zimmerman defending his life? According to a jury, who actually heard and saw all the relevant evidence, he was.


Blanket

2 July, 2013

So we were in this temple and Ank was asleep and Shoop was asleep and some people came and started shooting fire at us, so we fought them and it was not going well, and then Ank woke up and took care if it all. Which was good, but then he opened up their heads and started eating their brains and [the dwarf] told him to stop it.
Ank has illithid brain worms (oh noes!)
My floating disk was still going, so we put shoop on that and then we tried to leave the caves but everything was different and I think were are back in Halaster’s maze.

We found a room with some supplies, so I took some blankets and some rations and some lamp oil and some other stuff and it all fitted in my new magic bag.

Then we found a corridor with three rooms and there was a plque that said one doo goes back to where you came from, and we opened it and it was the dwarf city so we went though there and there was a big eye thing with eyes (which are called beholders, by the way) and we had a fight. I couldn’t do much, but I had a blanket in my bag so I threw that over its head with my “other” hand and I looked through my stuff to see if there was anythihng useful and I had some glue so I got eolith to throw it on the beholder and it worked byt the beholder just ripped the blanket off and became very cross.

General hilarity. Eunice’s “other hand” is her “Far Hand” power, of course, which she can use twice per encounter. The DM explicitly gave her two blankets from the storeroom. So blanket+far hand+beholder … . Even better, Eunice filled her pack with a bunch of miscellaneous stuff from the enchanter. I used the “Foaming Plaster” last week, this week I found a use for the “sovereign glue” 🙂
I had another blanket, and things were not going very well for the beholder, so it opened up some kind of portal and now we are all in Menzoberranzan and everyone else is here and I don’t know what’s happening.
Suddenly, Menzoberranzan.

Our ranger rolled this

2 July, 2013

This was a legit damage roll from the ranger. 1 in 46656 – 5 times as unlikely as rolling 3 20s.


Well, that was bit of a worry!

1 July, 2013

Limited time this week, so we got straight down to business. “Sorry for throwing one combat after another at you guys”, said Dave afterward. Like that’s a bad thing.

We headed “north” from the fungus patch to a lake, where Zutteger reported that the “big bird” was attacked by an Owlbear. Rainor and Rainen ascended to rcon, and sure enough were attacked – by two of them. I cast Fly on His Majesty then used Phantasmal Web, but it really seemed to have little effect on proceedings. A third one attacked, getting Kalos in its claws. Another Phantasmal Web was as useful as the first. Finally I used a scroll of Fly, but by the time I was close enough the others had taken care of things.

We decided to head north up the river, shortcutting our way to Nerissas’s home. After a bit the Fly started to run out, and so I did Phantom Steeds all around. But after a bit, we realised that we had been turned around – the magic of the plane sending us “south”. Suspiciously, we were following Zutteger’s footsteps and sure enough the river froze and we wound up on top of a frozen waterfall, overlooking a graveyard.

Endure Elements all around (from the first wand I ever made!) and we made camp on the frozen river. I covered the area with four overlapping Alarm spells (from another wand) and we set watch.

Before midnight, the alarms went off and we were blasted with an enormous fire evocation of some sort. Then these crystaline insect things came up out of the ice. I used Shadow Conjuration to create the effect of Acid Fog, but it did little but get in the way of eveyone else. A Fireball, converted to lightning worked rather better. Off in the distance we saw movement in the trees – we were about to be attacked by more plants. Remembering the lightning treants, I finished off the last swarm of crystal ants with a Lightning Bolt, as the spell was useless againast trees. Four or five treants came out of the woods – not those lightning treants, thank the gods – and attacked. I used my bond to cast Contagious Flame. It was not as effective as I had hoped – the flame does not echo if the creature it hit dies, and of the four I hit, three were dead in seconds. Further, I cannot aim the echo rays as well as I can when I fire them myself – they are not as precise.

Eventually, we took down the treants with ordinary Scorching Rays and the old standby: hitting them with oddly shaped lumps of metal until they stopped moving.

A great deal else happened, of course. Healing, charging, flying about, shooting things with arrows. But I am concerned that if we can’t get a full night’s rest somehow, we will not be able to succeeed. Additionally, each hour in here is a day outside. Even if we succeed, we may find that we have no kingdom to return to.

On the other hand: what of it? The humans will endure, in their own way, and stopping these Fey from establishing a major foothold on prime is far, far more important than preserving a kingdom all of five years old.

If I can get some damn rest, I will see if I can organise a Rope Trick or better for tomorrow, although it may be impossible to create an extradimensional pocket here.

We must not fail.