We commit mayhem.

12 January, 2015

I’m not really writing in Brus’ voice all that much. At the end of the day, Inquisitor+Yog Sothoth doesn’t make a great deal of sense – it’s kind difficult to get into Brus’ head. So: third person narrative.

Anyway. What happened?

We got handed a mission to recover a sage. Portaled into a nice bucolic laneway. Were immediately set upon by assassins. There was actually a mark on the ground indicating exactly where and when we would emerge from the portal (did I mention it was in the back of a moving cart?), so obviously someone knows their business.

Then we went into town. There was a trial going on – or just finished. Turnes out the local magistrate had a witch in the cells. People disagreed on what kind of witchery he was involved in, except that they all agreed that he would mysteriously vanish and appear elsewhere.

Sounded like our man.

We left to investigate his home. John, the cleric of The First, casually set the place on fire. Or possibly our hobgoblin rogue did. One or the other.

(Now there’s an idea: an inquisitor of Irix the head fire elemental.)

So, we headed off up the hill while the townsfolk formed a bucket brigade. The sage’s house had been ransacked, of course. And there were tracks out back. We followed tem to a gravesite where some sort of chinese fey spirits (Oh, did I mention that this plane was chinese-themed?) were stuffing the sage’s notes into the grave of the previous sage.

There was some talky-talk going on, when two things happened.

Our rogue grabbed a shiny thing from the grave, thining that it was possibly another key.

And our bard, who had Tongues running, mentioned portals. The local word for them being ‘li-men.’


Not that that mattered right then, because it was fight time.

We were up against raccoon dudes in the chinese agricultural peasant hats (“Google? What are those things called?” Huh, google doesn’t know. But he does know that “coolie” transalates to “bitter/hardship strength/force”, which makes perfect sense.)

Anyway. Racoon things. And they were tough. Eventually one fey thing was left, and it turned into a tree and told us to go away.

So we walked back to town, casually setting fire to a couple of huts on the way down. We got back to the town square and told the bard to say we were here to help, but the dudes putting out the fire noticed the burning huts behind us and didn’t believe us. Our rogue was sneaking, and our deep gnome had disguised hinself as a local with his racial Alter Self.

Fighting ensued.

Everyone was a monk, except for the head guy who was some sort of swashbuckler/monk. A potentially good combo. But the DM has given Brus a vicious naginata, and – being Brus – was power-attacking with it.

I’m basically playing Brus the way I think Morgan would do, which involves mainly grabbing the biggest, nastiest two-handed weapon close to hand and hitting things with it until they stop moving. The man is an inspiration.

Let’s run the numbers.

Naginata. 1d8. +1. Vicious – +2d6.
Str 18 – +4. Two-handed weapon makes this +6.
Power attack +4, two-handed weapon makes this +6.

Average damage, 1d8+12d6+13 = 24.5 per hit.

Now let’s add cheese.

Bard song. +2 competence bonus.
Divine Favour. +1 morale bonus.
Bane (inquisitor class ability). + 2d6.
Judgment (inquisitor class ability). +2 profane bonus.

Total of 1d8+4d6+18 = average 36.5 per hit. Not as good as a minmaxed fighter, but respectable.

Now, a big problem is the vicious naginata does 1d6 damage to me per hit. So mainly I use Judgement of Profane Healing with Judgement Surge to deal with that. Now that I have 2 attacks per round, this is going to become more of a problem.

Anyway. Brus’ self-appointed job is to protect the cleric (in the absence of a proper antipaladin of the order to do it), and having a reach wepon makes this easier. The other role-playing thing I do is that rather than say “I cast ‘Divine Favour'”, I say “I pray for whatever-it-is”. Dave’s cleric was concentrating on Badger’s Ferocity. The naginata is a ×4 weapon, but there were no crit threats, sadly.

Our swashbuckling monk had a couple of problems. He could parry Brus’ attacks, but he could not riposte because Brus was using a reach weapon. And the second problem is that Brus does a lot of damage. Oh, and everyone had a lousy armour class.

After a few hits, he ran off into the building.

Bevis was dealing with the enemy Sorcerer, who he had Charmed. And a good thing too – later in that fight she casually disables Brus with a Hideous Laughter. Casters keep trying to use mind-affecting stuff on Brus, because he looks like a half-orc meathead. He’s a divine caster. But this time, I rolled badly and there you go. I decided that this meant his judgement ceased, not that it mattered because the fight upstairs was over before he was on his feet again.

And Morgs and Andrew were double-teaming the mooks. The rogue likes flanking, of course.

So we killed a bunch of people who were merely defending their village from a squad of arsonists in league with a witch. Then we went into the building. Downstairs, the dude we wanted to rescue was in a cell. It was pretty tight down there, the sorceress blocking the way. Brus did overran her as part of a charge, knocking her down and at the end of his charge cutting the head monk in two. This I found immensely satisfying, as it is exactly what should happen when a sorceress tries to body-check a charging half-orc.

I have the sage one of my precious potions of cure serious, for role-playing reasons. He informed us that this place was not safe. “Yeah,” I said, “it’s going to burn down soon.”

It was a moment.

He explained that no, there was going to be a dragon attack. So we took him upstairs and outside. He surveyed the bodies and the burning buildings, thinking to himeself “Yep, I predicted this, but I didn’t think it would happen quite this way”. He found a door – one of the few doors remaining in the village being an outhose – and we went though.


We are level 7. For Brus, this means:

  • His inquisitor level is 6. Abilities and spells that are +1 per 3 levels bump up.
  • New spell: Effortless Armor. Haven’t firmly settled on this, yet.
  • Bonus teamwork feat Outflank.
  • Feat feat Cornugon Smash. Haven’t firmly settled on this yet, either.

Brus’ BAB is only +5, so still only 1 attack per round. A haste or similar effect would make Dave’s ‘Badger’s Ferocity’ a much better option.