Cheese!

Ok. Let’s say we retcon Brus and give him the ‘toothy’ racial template. This replaces ‘orc ferocity’, which he has never used. He is also getting Brutal Grappler, Power Attack, and already has Brute (orc).

1. Humanoids do not have natural attacks from being humanoid.
2. Brus is a humanoid.
3. ∴ Brus does not have a natural attack from being humanoid.
4. Toothy racial template gives a half-orc a 1d4 primary natural attack
5. If a creature has a primary natural attack, and does not have any other natural attack, and is not using this attack as a secondary attack during a full-round-attack, then the attack gets 1½ strength bonus.
6. ∴ Brus’s “toothy” attack is at 1½ strength bonus. +6 attack/damage when he is not using it as a secondary attack in a full-round attack.
7. If power attack is used with a weapon that normally gets 1½ strength damage, then the damage from power attack is also 1½.
8. ∴ Brus’s “toothy” attack is at 1½ bonus from power attacking. -1 to hit, +3 damage.
9. Brus is a level 3 inquisitor.
10. A level 3 inquisitor can use teamwork feats as if his allies had them, even if they do not.
11. Brus has “Brutal Grappler” feat.
12. ∴ Brus can attack with a natural attack even when using the aid another action in a grapple. (the primary grappler cannot use the aid another action and do damage, he has to grapple)
13. When aiding another, if the action you are aiding provokes, then the aid attempt provokes.
14. Establishing a grappling provokes an AAO from the target of the grapple. Maintaining a grapple does not.
15. ∴ aiding another to maintain a grapple does not provoke.
16. A grappler cannot take AAOs.
17. ∴ even if aiding another to maintain a grapple did provoke, the creature being grappled couldn’t take that attack.

So. Smurf establishes a grapple. Brus stacks on – no AAO because the target is too busy dealing with Smurf. Brus makes an aid another vs AC 10. He’s power attacking (because Aid Another is an attack roll), so it’s at -1 for the power attack, +2 BAB, +4 str, for a total of +5 to hit AC 10. On a hit, he does damage and also gives Smurf +2 on his next maintain grapple on top of the +5 that he normally gets anyway (you get +5 to maintain a grapple on an already-grappled foe).

On a single bite with power attack, he gets 1d4+9. How far can we take this?

Judgment of Profane Destruction – +2 profane bonus.
Divine Favour – +1 luck bonus.
Wrath – +1 morale bonus.
Bard song – +1 competence bonus.

So 1d4+14. A crit threat makes this 1d4+16 from Brute trait, and a confirmed crit makes it 2d4+30 (because the trait bonus is not multiplied) – average 35. While assisting Smurf to do whatever he happens to be doing. At level 3. Off a bite in a grapple.

Mind you, all the stars have to be right for this to happen 🙂 . Wrath only applies to a single target, so it’s one round spent spellcasting instead of attacking, assuming you have divine favour already running. But my God is the Key and the Door, not to mention being The Watcher Behind The Gate.

BTW: I am nowhere near the power gamer that Dave is, or even Andrew. Fun times!